Photo by Lili Popper on Unsplash

“What would you do if you never had to work again?”

This is a question I often use in my workshops -and one I also ask myself from time to time.

And almost every time, the first answers are negative.

I don’t want to work just for a paycheck.

I don’t want to be surrounded by negative people.

I don’t want to be told what to do at work.

The list of what we don’t want is surprisingly easy to write.

But when it’s time to name what we do want -what we’d choose if nothing held us back- the answers are vague. And yet, this is what matters most.

You cannot build your life around avoidance.

You need direction. You need desire. A picture of what “good” could actually look like.

Easier said than done.

Imagining what we want is hard.

It’s not that we don’t have dreams.

It’s that many of us have stopped giving ourselves permission to take them seriously.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be practical.

To aim for what's achievable. To choose what's realistic.

We learned to ask:

What job can I get with this degree?

What would please my family?

What title will sound impressive enough?

All these are valid questions, rooted in actual needs.

But often, they silence a more important one:

What do I want?

That question feels risky. Almost inappropriate. At all times, and

especially in midlife.

In midlife, we tell ourselves that it’s too late to change.

That wanting more means we’re ungrateful. Or unrealistic.

So, we let go of the dream. We file it under “someday” and we keep going.

And then?

Desire gets quieter when ignored.

If you don’t listen to it, it doesn’t shout louder.

It fades.

It gets buried under your obligations, your “shoulds”, your to-do list and the constant noise of daily survival.

So where do you begin?

Not with a five-year plan or a job title.

Just with a few honest questions:

• What do I want more of?

• What do I want less of?

• What would I do if no one else had a say?

• What version of myself am I quietly craving to become?

These aren’t easy questions. You won’t get answers overnight.

But they’ll begin to shift your thoughts away from what’s expected, closer to what’s true.

I’m still learning this myself.

Even now, after changing careers and rewriting so much of my life, I sometimes catch myself thinking in terms of “what makes sense”, instead of “what makes me feel alive.”

I still hesitate to dream too freely. I still censor ideas before they take form.

I still ask if this is too much or too unrealistic.

Then I remind myself: I don’t need a crystal-clear vision to begin.

I just need the courage to start listening to myself.

And maybe you do, too.

Start where you are and listen closely,

Let your own voice get louder.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Writing these reflections isn’t always easy, but knowing they might speak to someone out there makes it worth it. Feel free to reply. I’d love to hear your thoughts.